


do you think you will be good enough (to love others and to be loved)

by flashlightinacave



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Apologies, F/M, Late Night Conversations, Post 1x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23844148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashlightinacave/pseuds/flashlightinacave
Summary: Post season 1 episode 10, Zoey and Max finally have a real conversation and trade some needed apologies
Relationships: Zoey Clarke/Max Richman
Comments: 22
Kudos: 67





	do you think you will be good enough (to love others and to be loved)

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be irrelevant the minute tomorrow's episode airs, but I really needed to write something where Zoey and Max apologize to each other. I've never written for this fandom before and all mistakes are mine and mine only. Title taken from the song "Mowgli's Road" by Marina and the Diamonds.

In the past few weeks there was no better way to describe Zoey than as a tornado, fiercely determined, but leaving wreckage absolutely everywhere she went.

She knew apologies couldn’t negate the things she said, but they did ease her conscience. Thanks to Mo — who she was certain she didn’t deserve the loyalty and friendship of — Zoey had begun to reap what she sowed. She’d made amends with Simon along with her mother and Howie. But there was still her best friend to contend with.

She’d been so awful since she’d developed her musical power and now yet another wedge had been driven between them with a work rivalry. 

But there was something Simon had said when they’d talked following her apology. He’d said she deserved someone who was fully present and could give her everything. 

Something Max had always, always been.

He’d been the only person who’d shown kindness to her when she’d attended orientation after she got her job at SPRQ Point. He’d encouraged her to take the promotion to manager of engineering. He’d been endlessly supportive with her dad, bringing him soft foods, getting her to hospital after she’d received that dreaded phone call at Jessica and Simon’s engagement party, telling her to face her father following her glitch. Even after she’d smashed his heart into pieces, he’d still comforted her. He’d always been there for her, it was only inevitable that she’d fallen… 

She couldn’t lose him. Not now, not with what she’d just realized.

Zoey let her fist knock against the door three times before the door swung open.

“Zoey? It’s two in the morning?”

Max was wearing pyjamas, but he looked awake enough that Zoey could conclude he hadn’t retired for the night yet. With so many things she was desperate to apologize for Zoey was glad she didn’t have to add another to her list.

“I know, I should let you sleep, but you haven’t answered my texts and I needed to speak with you. Max, I am so, so sorry.”

“Come in?” Max asked and Zoey was grateful when he held the door open so she could step inside. He shut the door behind her and clicked the lock shut. Zoey met Max’s gaze and was overwhelmed. It was easier to list the emotions she didn’t find me in his eyes than the ones she did. He didn’t appear angry — thank god — or upset or confused or annoyed. All the negative emotions she’d been expecting to find in his eyes after their massive fight and not talking to each other for days just… weren’t there. It was Max’s voice that brought her back to reality. “Well, you’re here now, so say what you need to say..”

Zoey sucked in a deep breath to steady herself, she had so much on her mind, but she needed to say it clearly. “Max, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I have been the absolute worst friend recently.” Great, she was barely at the beginning of her long apology and her voice was already shaking.

Zoey cleared her throat. “I should have never said that no one understands how you got your job on the sixth floor. You're a brilliant coder, you deserve a job more suited to your talents.” Zoey realized she was no longer looking at Max, she was staring at the floor and her clenched hands. 

She looked up and met Max’s eyes, now she could read them, they were patient and soft and kind. She could do this. “I was so angry and I took it out on everyone, on you, Simon, my mom and Howie, and Mo. Just because I’m going through something that doesn’t mean I should drag everyone down with me.” 

“Zo…” She’d expected anger in his voice, but there was none, only concern. “You are going through something incredibly hard, no one can expect you to be okay all the time. And as much as I can stay that I get it and that Mitch is important to me too, it’s nowhere near the same.”

Zoey shook her head. “No, I can’t use my grief to excuse my actions. And it’s not just our fight, I’ve been a pretty crummy best friend to you for a while now. It’s not your fault that my power caused me to find out how you felt, I really should have handled that more maturely. You’ve known about those feelings forever and you’ve still been able to be my best friend, I found out about them accidentally and I immediately pushed you away and I—“

“Zo,” he cut her off gently, “you’re rambling.” 

Zoey felt her face burn, she was a mess. “The point is,” she began, “I’ve been so unfair to you Max and I’m really sorry.” 

Zoey couldn’t look into his understanding eyes any longer and let her gaze drift to the floor, but she saw Max holding out his hands to her. She immediately met his eyes again, nothing in them suggested anything other than a desire to comfort her, so Zoey took his hands. Max gave their joined hands a comforting squeeze and Zoey smiled. 

“I’m sorry, too,” Max said. “If you think you’ve been a bad friend, then somehow I have managed to be even worse.” 

Zoey shook her head. “No… Max—”

Max gave a slight frown. “Zoey, I listened to your messy apology, will you please listen to mine?”

The atmosphere slightly lightened, Zoey let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, sorry.”

Max took a deep breath and the air grew tense between them again. “I shouldn’t have pushed my feelings onto you.”

Zoey shook her head again. “You didn’t, Max, you didn’t, I—”

“I did, Zoey. I told you that telling me to take the job was the wrong choice, because why? I wanted you to tell me that you wanted me to stay by your side? I’ve been ridiculously unfair to you about your feelings for Simon. I’ve behaved like an entitled jerk, acting like you should choose me because I’ve been here for you longer, but that’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to say this, because you certainly already know it, but you are allowed to be with and have feelings for whoever you want, my bruised ego shouldn’t stand in your way.”

Zoey felt tears drip out of her eyes. Max’s voice went from earnest to soft. “I can’t hold your lack of interest in me against you. Above all else, I am your best friend.” 

Zoey laughed, which made the tears fall faster and sniffled. “Gosh, Max, whoever said that I wasn’t into you?”

Zoey barely withheld her snicker as Max’s eyes blew wide with shock. “I am _so_ into you,” Zoey retorted, her voice filled with a sudden determination. “I sang “I’m Yours” to you remember?” She felt a flush creep up her neck at the memory, but was happy to see Max’s face had also tinted a delightful shade of pink.

“But you said...you said…” Now it was Max’s turn to be the disjointed bumbling mess. He appeared to be unable to get the words out so he shut his mouth and waited. 

“I told you I wasn’t interested in a relationship because I didn’t want to risk our friendship,” Zoey said, running her hands up Max’s surprisingly muscular arms to rest on his shoulders. “But by denying what we both want, I’m losing more.” 

Max swallowed. “This is what you want?” His voice was quiet as a whisper.

Zoey moved one of her hands to cup his cheek. “Yes.” She moved the hand resting on his shoulder to his head, carding her fingers through his hair. “I wasn’t sure before but… You, Max Richman, are worth the risk.”

Zoey’s heart was thundering in her chest as her eyes drifted to Max’s lips. His lips were already slightly parted leading to the intoxicating wet, darkness of his mouth. She captured his mouth with her’s, pouring everything she felt for him into the kiss. Max reciprocated quickly, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her as close as he could manage. It was passionate but gentle, ardent but tender. Max kissed her the same way he sang his heart songs, with complete reverence and adoration. 

Both an eternity and only an instant later when they parted, Zoey’s lips were tingling, they were probably bruised, and she couldn’t stop the goofiest grin from breaking out across her face. Max wore a similar smile, his eyes so filled with affection that Zoey felt like her pounding heart might burst from her chest.

“Woah,” Zoey breathed, the hoarseness in her voice shocking her, but making her grin more.

“Woah,” Max agreed. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Zoey leaned in again, the desperation to kiss him again almost unbearable, but Max stopped her resting his hands on her shoulders. “Wait, I still have more things I need to apologize to you for before we can do that again.”

Zoey scrunched her brow in mock annoyance. “Max, it doesn’t matter, I’ve already forgiven you.”

“No, it does matter.” Zoey felt Max’s fingers curl into her’s and took his hands. Together they walked over to his couch and she sat with her legs curled under her as she faced him expectantly.

“I’m sorry about the flashmob, I should have just told you how I felt without turning it into a public display. I guess I was just going for a—”

“Big moment, big memory,” Zoey replied with a sly smile on her face, “yeah, I know.” At some point, Max had begun rhythmically sweeping his thumb across her knuckles. Zoey wasn’t quite sure when, but it felt soothing, She felt comfortable in a way she hadn’t in a while. “I’m sorry I ran away and deflected by telling you about my powers. You deserved an answer, even if I was afraid it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.” She moved her free hand to rest it on the curve of his shoulder. “Lucky for you, my answer now is _exactly_ what you want to hear.”

“And what is that?” Max asked, tilting his head to the side and smirking. 

All the nerves and anxiety that previously filled Zoey had faded away. Somehow what she was about to confess to Max was the easiest thing imaginable. “I choose you, Max Richman, because… I’m in love with you.”

Max kissed her gently and Zoey felt herself melt into it. 

“Good, because I’m in love with you too, since the day we met.”

“Well, they always say the person you love should be your best friend, right?” She kissed Max again. “I feel like we’ve got the best of both, don’t you?”

Zoey met Max’s eyes to find them filled to the brim with love. “I couldn’t agree more.” 


End file.
